In this series, “Letters from my Future Self,” the main idea is about the wisdom we wish we could share with a former version of ourselves. I wish I could tell myself to refrain from certain purchases, to cut off certain people, and there are plenty of other lessons that I’ve learned that I wish I could teach myself before I had to learn the hard way. The more important point of the series is this: the Bible has wisdom for you and I today. We can apply this wisdom to our lives because of the grace of God and His love for us. And so today, I pray that you and I apply the lesson of being slow to speak.
Are you a patient or impulsive speaker?
”My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,“
James 1:19 NIV
The lesson from this verse is a goal line defense against “foot-in-mouth” disorder. Being quick to listen and slow to speak will help all of your relationships. I struggle with being slow to speak. I respond quickly to questions, comments, and other situations - sometimes with sincerity and sometimes with sarcasm. But so many times, I’ve offered advice without understanding the situation well, I’ve shared an opinion that wasn’t actually being asked for, and I’ve made a joke that was in poor taste. All are avoided by being slow to speak. I’ve also felt the sting of conviction after letting a certain word fly out of my mouth that would need to be censored on tv, in anger or a simple lack of self control. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that our words are not something to be reckless with. Cursing and blessing should not come from the same mouth. What I often justify as a quick wit is truthfully impulsive speech, and quick wit is not synonymous with what the Bible teaches us about wisdom. Maybe you’ve been in the same place.
How do we tame the tongue?
”All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.“
James 3:7-8 NIV
Trusted friends helped me gain awareness of that impulsivity in my words, and I believe that God has used that to help me grow towards better listening and patient speech. I want to share some steps that I believe will help the follower of Jesus be slow to speak and tame the tongue.
Ask for accountability with your speech.
The Bible teaches us in James that “no human being can tame the tongue.” I believe that is true. We will not be perfect in the way we speak or even in the way we refrain from speaking. But I do not take this as an excuse for impulsive, destructive, or poisonous speech to persist in my life. There are a few people, that I trust as brothers and sisters in Christ, whom I have asked to be watchful with me of my speech. And I thank God for the gift of their friendship, because they have held me accountable. I may initially resist the correction, but because of the trust and relationship we share in Christ, I have received the rebuke and adjusted my behavior. Who do you trust to call you on your speech?
2. Absorb the vocabulary you want to use.
As much as bad company will corrupt good character, good company will influence a messy vocabulary and impulsive speech. Something that helped me to eliminate cursing from my speech was to eliminate cursing from my listening. Playlists scrubbed of songs, shows and movies removed from watchlists, and even friendships stepped away from. Take it seriously that what you surround yourself with will significantly influence your speech and behavior, and surround yourself with what you want to speech to be like. Spend time each day and throughout the day in the Word of God. Let worship songs start to more completely fill up your playlists. Cultivate community with fellow followers of Christ who strive to be like Him in speech and conduct as well. And pray that God would fill you with His wisdom for your words.
3. Slow down. Be quiet.
You won’t say anything foolish with your mouth closed. You won’t make a joke in bad taste when you say nothing. You won’t participate in gossip when you don’t say anything at all. We need to consider our words with the weight the Bible places on them. Powerful. What you say has power to build and to destroy. So before just swinging the hammer of your words, slow down. Stop for a count of three and look at who you’re speaking to, and ask, “How can I build them up with my words?” This doesn’t mean we avoid confrontation, it means we carefully consider how we speak in a confrontation. This doesn’t mean we never share our opinion, it means we carefully and thoughtfully share our opinion. You won’t say the wrong thing with your mouth shut. So simply - pause. My mom and dad had it right for my whole life growing up: Think before you speak.
I pray that this week gives you and I plenty of opportunities to be quick to listen, and slow to speak. I pray that our speech and conduct as followers of Jesus always points clearly and properly back to Christ.
