“8 Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— 10 that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus,[b] who became my son while I was in chains. 11 Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.” Philemon v8-11 (NIV)
In Christ, we must forgive.
I’ve been in church for my entire life. I grew up around the topic of forgiveness. I know the teachings about forgiving seven times seventy times; I know the story of
Philemon and Onesimus. Something that has always floated around in my mind is the idea that I should forgive. What Paul writes to Philemon though is a different approach.
He says, “in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do.” But the preference isn’t that Philemon forgive Onesimus because he must - but still, he must.
“‘10 So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’” Luke 17:10 (NIV)
These words from Jesus make it plain. Forgiving someone that has hurt us isn’t some spiritual side quest that we can do for extra credit. It is a requirement of following
Jesus. To understand just how much we’ve been forgiven removes any ammunition we may think we have to not forgive someone who has grieved us. Our offenses, our
sins, against God weigh far more than anything another person has done to us. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel it, and it doesn’t mean it’s okay. It means that we still must
forgive.
“12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV)
Love should be enough motivation.
“yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love.” Philemon 1:9 (NIV)
“15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.” Philemon v9, v15-16 (NIV)
Paul doesn’t want Philemon to forgive just because he has to. Paul wrote this letter to make the appeal of love to Philemon so that the forgiveness would be in line with
the heart of Christ and not just out of obligation. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians that God loves a cheerful giver, and I believe that He loves a cheerful forgiver as well. It
really boils down to two big questions that we have to answer when faced with a difficult case of forgiveness. When someone is hard to forgive, does the potential
advance of the Gospel outweigh the hurt? If so, then forgive cheerfully and prayerfully. If not, do the commands of Jesus outweigh the hurt? If so, then forgive and pray
that you continue to forgive as Christ forgives you. If not, is He truly your Lord?
You may be facing a tough situation. You may have been hurt badly. God sees you and He loves you. The Bible tells us in Psalm 34 that He is near to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed. He also wants you to forgive. The best possible result for the person that hurt you is that their sin is forgiven in Christ. Unforgiveness might
feel better for a time, but the bitterness will poison you. The Lord does not want us to carry that, and so He commands that we forgive, and He wants us to forgive from a
place of love. If it isn’t love though, we must still dutifully forgive.
