Jesus First—Forgive One Another
The Book of Colossians reminds us to reset our life by putting Jesus first. In a world that clamors for us to “put other things first”, with many loud and divisive voices all around us, and with our world still turned upside down - we all need a reset. We all need a refocus.
Here it is: Put Jesus first.
How? Part of the answer Scripture points us to is found in some challenging verses of the Bible in Colossians 3.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
Why Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is letting go of your resentment toward others. To forgive someone is to let go of the grudge, let go of the resentment, and not hold on to the hurt.
Why do we forgive? Colossians 3:13 gives us the answer.
We have a tendency to forgive people based on what they say or don’t say. If they apologize or ask for forgiveness, but it doesn’t seem authentic—we don’t forgive them. Our forgiveness can be based on whether or not we see enough repentance, sorrow, or humility.
But the truth of Colossians 3:13 is that we are to forgive someone because we have been forgiven by the Lord. Our motivation to forgive others is based on Jesus’ love and forgiveness we have received, not the actions of the person who hurt us.
Forgiveness Has No Boundaries
Colossians 3:13 says: “Forgive anyone who offends you.” The key word there is…anyone.
But what if they don’t deserve your forgiveness? They might not deserve your forgiveness. There are some things that happen to us that are so big and so bad—we say: I can’t forgive that. You’re right. You would be right in that you can’t forgive in your own feelings and strength. But God will help you forgive.
Jesus preached about it.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
If we buy into the lie that we can’t forgive, we are living where we are not being forgiven. We have to learn to forgive.
Forgiveness Always Begins With A Choice
We think: God, they hurt me, and it still hurts. But I am choosing to forgive, because I want to be filled with love and not bitterness. I am choosing to give up my right to get even, to seek revenge, to wish bad on that person. I am choosing to forgive those who hurt me. God, I pray that You would bless their life. Not because they deserve it, because they don’t, but because You’ve forgiven me.
What Forgiveness Is Not:
Forgiveness is not pretending nothing happened. We will totally remember what happened. What does God mean He does with our sin in Jeremiah 31:34?
“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
Jeremiah 31:34c (NIV)
“He remembers it no more”. But God knows everything, so what does that mean? It means God chooses not to act on it. He chooses not to respond to it. God asks you to forgive and not take it into your hands—to not get even. To forgive and forget…is impossible. It is about your response.
Forgiveness is not about no consequences. We think forgiveness means: I forgave you so I invite you back for Thanksgiving dinner. No, you might not immediately trust that person. You have the right to choose to trust or not. Forgiveness means they get a 2nd chance, but they are back to square one. It doesn’t mean you’re right back to where you were. Forgiveness wipes the slate clean. God never dealt with people in the Bible like it didn’t happen. There was a second chance given, but it didn’t mean everything was right back where it was.
Forgiveness is not about seeking my own revenge. Our lack of forgiveness can be because we don’t want to give it over to God because it will be like they got away with it. Forgiveness doesn’t take its own revenge, though we still ask for justice. It is a step of faith - believing God can bring justice better than I can. He gets to choose. So you forgive so there is peace in your heart and you can move forward, and let God deal with the situation. Because who will do a better job? You or God?
The Bottom Line
Here’s what I know from Scripture: Forgiving others is a big deal.
And I also know that unforgiveness is a big deal. “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the person who hurt you to die.”
We avoid the bitterness, the rage, the destruction in our own life when we follow God’s plan and…forgive.