In Ephesians 4:25-32, Paul lists behaviors that he tells the Ephesians to be doing. The list is not that remarkable. He says things like: Tell the truth, don’t lose your temper, don’t steal, be kind, and build people up with your words.
Just about every religion in the world tells you to do those sorts of things. Be good. So, is the point of religion to turn bad people into good people? What is distinctive about Christian moral teaching? Or is it just like all the other religions?
Christianity is very different than every religion. “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.” Ephesians 4:17-18 (NIV). The Bible tells us we are alienated from the life of God because we have hard hearts. We have hard hearts and blind spiritual eyes. Whether we see God or not has nothing to do with the quality of the evidence, but the state of our hearts. I’ve heard it said this way: “The same sun that hardens the clay softens the wax.”
So, what is the answer to the fact that we have a spiritual dead heart that doesn’t really want God? These verses are not about: Be good. Try harder. Then, what is distinctive about Christian moral teaching? Let’s look:
We need a new knowledge of God. “When you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.” Ephesians 4:21 (NIV). In Jesus we see God revealed. We find our purpose and power through Jesus Christ. And the love of God revealed through Jesus transforms us into a person who loves, forgives, and uses their words to build others up.
Gospel change is a response of grace and not an attempt to earn God’s favor. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV).God has forgiven us. We are accepted because of what Jesus has done. And that is the only real way to change. The Gospel changes us by telling us of God’s love and acceptance of us first, and then invites us to love Him in return.
The only external changes that matter are those that flow out of internal changes in the mind and heart. “And to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:24 (NIV). We encounter the truth in Jesus. And that encounter gives us a new direction and desires. We pray not just: God speak to me. But we pray: Help me to see and adore God.
Express the love of Christ through your words. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV). How is that verse going for you? Is the Bible serious about that? What would it look like to let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth? In order to love with your words, love will not be just a feeling, this is going to require you to be a different person. “The right word at the right time, in the right tone, to the right person is like gold. “Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.’” Proverbs 25:11 (NIV). Do you remember getting words like that from someone? Words like: Thanks for always being incredible, I needed the most. I appreciate how you bring people together. I admire how you guys are growing in your relationship. Thanks for encouraging my child.
Do I talk in a way that really believes God is present? “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30 (NIV). We can grieve God. Verses 30 is alot like me and my children when they were young. When my daughters bickered, fought, didn’t do their homework. It grieved me because I know they are missing out. Because I know they are going to bed early. I am grieved because I know they aren’t going anywhere on the weekend. If you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit is in us. We have the very image of God in our lives. Do we really believe God is our audience to what I say daily? That He is an audience to what I say to my family, to my spouse?
The goal is not to just try to have words that build others up. The goal is to become the kind of person through which loving words flow. “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV). Jesus often talked about this. Change the inside. Change your heart. Clean the inside of the cup. Aim at being somebody who is rooted enough in love and near to Jesus that thinks: Why would I say words that wouldn’t build up? That’s love. That’s the Gospel that changes us. There is nothing like love in action. And our words are a key way to put our love into action.
