Trust Issues
God’s plan: Is for us to grow in love. The Five Love Languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Acts of Service) give us great tools to follow that command from God.
But to truly grow in love, there is one huge barrier that has to be dealt with in all relationships: Trust issues. And today who can you trust? Dr. Fauci? CDC? Politicians? Religious leaders? The news? There is a crisis of trust we all face in general, but also personally in our relationships.
Trust issues are what happens when we get hurt by someone. And we will be hurt by someone—sometime. The result is: We become guarded, isolated. Trust is so important in relationships. It’s a lot like building a sandcastle—it takes time, effort and it can be wrecked with one single wave.
So, here are some key questions about trust issues:
How are your relationships going?
It would be great if we had an actual love tank gauge to know how things are going or something like a battery percentage indicator on our phone that answers this question.
Without a doubt, one of the most destructive impacts on a relationship is lost trust.
Jeremiah 17 reminds us that people will let us down, trust will be broken. But the Bible also encourages us to not let go of trust. 1 Corinthians 13:7—Love always…trusts.
We have a huge life-changing choice: Let go of trust, and open the door to isolation, walls up, closed off, and becoming bitter. Or change the object of our trust. Without trust, there is no hope and without hope we become cynics.
Will you trust or become cynical?
No-trust living leads us to become cynical. Being a cynic is a dangerous place to live life.
When we are cynical, we project our fears on everyone. “My husband came home 30 minutes late, that’s what happened when I got cheated on before. Is he cheating on me too?” “They didn’t text me back. That’s what happened when my friend betrayed me. What if that is what’s happening now?”
Jeremiah 17 tells us to place our trust and hope and confidence in the Lord, who is trustworthy. Verse 8 gives us a picture of healing and hope. Don’t isolate, plant your roots deep, stay connected to the Lord to develop deep roots that can withstand the hurts that are caused by others.
It is living life this way: They could hurt me, and even if they do, that’s not where my source of identity is connected to. My source of identity is connected to someone greater than that. So, guess what? I’m going to plant my roots deep. I’m actually going to try to stay connected to the only source of strength that can sustain me through a storm.
What are my next steps if I have trust issues?
If you have had your trust broken, the first step is to heal. Broken trust causes pain that is deep and destructive.
Don’t project on everybody. Watch out for triggers that lead you to become cynical and isolated.
Place your hope and trust in God. (If you have trust issues with God, take those to Him. He wants you to go there)